Manson's Thoughts

Collection of poems/verses/ideologies written over the years.

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A friend vs. something more

I keep wondering - how do you distinguish between people who you consider as friends (even good ones) vs. people who you think you love?

I mean, if someone is your friend, you would listen and support them, trust them, and both would enjoy the time that you are spending together. However, isn't that the same as for people who you love?

For me, if I were to describe it today, I think the distinction lies in the level of support you give. ie. a friend is someone you will believe in, but someone who you love is someone who you will go out of your way to make their dreams come true.

For example, say there was some act that someone wants to do or obtain that you do not really agree with. You listen to their points, and then you are really down to the basic choices as with any decision: accept, change, forget. Even though you do not totally agree with it, because they are someone you care about, you accept and respect their decision. At this point, this is the same that you would do for your friend and someone who is more than that.

The separation comes now - in the degree of support that you provide. In a friend's case, I would be inclined to just help when I am asked to, or offer 'spiritual' support. Whereas if it was someone who I care about a great deal, I would find ways to help pave the way so that they are successful in their aspiration. This would even go for things that might seem to be wrong, but because I accepted it, I would go out of my way and make their dream come true. While it begs the question of, what if this person makes a really really bad choice - to that I would answer if you cannot show them why it is a bad choice, you are either not really that close to them, or you need new friends... .. .

In some ways, this is I guess what parents do. For mistakes in life that are not detrimental, they let their children go at it once they see that the child has thought through and is 100% in on this. Then the parents often in the background, would watch over them and offer their helping hand, and ready to jump in if things turn south.

If I think back, this is probably subconsciously what I've been doing. I still remember a couple months back, when I had to buy a plane ticket. Sure the circumstances were different, but I can't help to think that I would have just bought the ticket without caring if it was someone else. It's funny to think back now, because maybe in some ways, she was right that I didn't care about this enough. Regardless, that is probably why we are not together anymore, because there was that hesitation.

Contrast that to a few months even before that, where the question for me was really when do you want me to buy the ticket, instead of 'if' I should buy the ticket. In some ways, I do wonder why I went out of my way to make sure she doesn't feel alone. Maybe it's where she was, but I wanted to make sure she was ok. Is that what a friend would normally do? Who knows - since that relationship has always been a weird one anyway... .. .